14 Things Science Says Guys Love

I had a good chuckle over Made Man’s list of Things Science Says Women Love. Apparently we are all suckers for homosexual men who look like our dads and don’t smile. Thanks, science! Oh, the image I’m conjuring right now is unsettling. Anyhow … I felt inspired to roundup a few of the things science says men love. Click through to find out what they are.

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1. Red
Source: Kobiety
A study conducted at the University of Rochester found that men prefer a lady in red. Just like that cheesy ’80s song! Men looked at pictures of women in red and women in green. Sounds very Christmas-y. Men were more drawn to the gals in crimson. “These findings indicate that color not only has aesthetic value but can carry meaning and impact psychological functioning in subtle, important, and provocative ways,” said researchers. Ok! The red dress it ’tis. [Times of India]

2. Chastity
Source: Sergey Chumakov/Shutterstock
In a study by HerCampus, one-fifth of all college-aged guys think having had 10 to 20 sexual partners makes a girl a “slut.” Oh no. Not this “number” business again. I’m sure the other four-fifths of the college boys were just excited to be getting laid. But the results of the study weren’t all bad. Over 30 percent of the guys polled said a “number” doesn’t not make a girl a “slut.” We congratulate those enlightened co-eds. [HerCampus.com]

3. Cuddling
Source: theamericangenius
The Kinsey Institute did a study of 1,009 heterosexual, middle-aged couples in long-term committed relationships and found that the men who were happiest in their relationships were the ones that cuddled the most. So there you have it. A cuddle a day keeps the divorce lawyers away. Men around the world just screamed when they read that sentence. But seriously, guys. If science recommends it … let’s cuddle!!! [Time]

4. Boobs
Source: Twitter
Wait for this one. Are you sitting down? OK. Researchers from New Zealand’s University of Wellington found that men LOVE looking at boobs. And they don’t just LOVE looking at boobs. About half of the men in the study were found to look at boobs before they looked at faces. Also discovered: Most men will look at boobs longer than any other body part. The good news here is that breast size didn’t matter one fig to these men. As long as you have boobs, they’ll be looking. [Your Tango]

5. Sexy News Anchors
Source: Verygood
Two studies out of Indiana University found that when men watch sexually attractive female news anchors, they are less likely to remember the news. “Men’s cognitive mechanisms favored visual over verbal processing,” the study concluded. This may make it very difficult for your dude to stay informed on current events. Best switch him to news radio. [Miller-McCune]

6. Jerking Off
Credit: vchal/Shutterstock
The 2019 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior made a startling discovery about teenage boys: They love to masturbate. From the 800 teenagers, ages 14 to 17, polled, researchers found that teen boys jerk off more than teen girls masturbate, and teen boys start jerking off earlier than teen girls do. Absolutely shocking stuff. [U.S. News & World Reports]

7. Marriage
Source: desiringgod
Thanks to a study conducted by Match.com, Rutgers University and Binghamton University, we can put the myth to bed that men don’t want to get married. The sample group of 5,200 singles ages 21 to 65 found that men want to tie the knot just as much as women do. “The mechanisms for attachment for men and women are exactly the same. Just as many men want to get married as women do,” said one of the scientists. Not only that, but the study showed that men had a greater inclination toward parenthood. You heard it here. Or maybe you already heard it. But you heard it again. [Time]

8. Showing Off
Source: Epic Motoring
A study carried out by researchers at Rice, University of Texas at San Antonio and the University of Minnesota examined men’s cars as they correlated to dating and relationship habits. You probably guessed that the men who bought Porsches were more interested in “short-term mating.” That’s the nice way of saying “casual sex.” But no matter what type of car a a guy drives, the study found that men use their toys to show off for potential mates. “Just as peacocks have evolved to flaunt their wasteful tails before potential mates, men might similarly woo with wasteful expenditures to charm potential mates,” said researchers. I am suddenly compelled to sing that Billy Ocean song “Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car.” [FOX]

9. Pumpkin Pie
Source: Bulletproof
Research has found that pumpkin pie is the scent that most enhances blood flow to the penis. “Throw away the perfume and go get some pumpkin pie,” said Dr. Alan Hirsch, Director of Chicago’s Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Center. More like slather it all over your entire body. If only I had known. So basically, pretend like it’s Thanksgiving all year long. No problem. I am thankful for this study. [WPBF.com]

10. No Tears
Source: scmp
Apparently, crying your eyes out in front of a man isn’t the way to turn him on. A study found that our female tears emit signals that actually turn guys off. Male participants who sniffed “odorless tears” (do tears usually smell?) from women who cried during a sad movie had lower testosterone levels and were less sexually aroused by or attracted to the opposite sex than male participants who sniffed salt water. The explanation? Tears shed because of heightened emotion are chemically different than those that spill over when you’re, say, chopping onions. So, basically, “if women are communicating a chemical message that they need comfort, not sex, it seems appropriate that a man’s testosterone level would take a dive.” Researchers also think there could be a connection between emotional tears and lowering aggression. So, like, turning on the waterworks when your man is being an jerk could calm him down? That never occurred to us. NEVER.. [ABC News]

11. Health Insurance
Source: singlecare
According to an undeniably biased study done by eHealthInsurance.com, 90 percent of college students said that they would automatically find someone more attractive if he or she had one important quality … health insurance. A rare commodity indeed. Heed the call, co-eds. This may be only thing within your control when it comes to getting ahead in love. Make yourself more desirable dating material by continuing your coverage on your parents’ plan if they can afford it or, perhaps, taking out additional student loans so that you can join your university’s health insurance. Go to parties and flash your insurance card. Brag about how cheap your co-pay is or invite your crush to accompany you to your physical next week. Then just sit back and watch him fall madly in love with you. [Consumerist]

12. Brunettes
Source: Mična
The social network Badoo polled men in the UK and found that the majority of gentlemen prefer brunettes. About 33 per cent said they find women with brown hair the most attractive, while 29 percent were fans of black hair. Do your math. That’s more than 60 percent of men who dig the dark-haired beauties. Eat that, blondes. Brunette pride in da house! [Glamour]

13. Head Tilting
Source: Sweat
Researchers from University of Newcastle, Australia discovered that men are more attracted to women who give good head. I’m talking about head titlting, you dirty birds. The study indicated that a woman can make herself more attractive to the opposite sex by angling her face a certain way. Apparently, we look most “alluring” when we tilt our chins down and look up at the man. Researchers believe these angles mimic the view men have of us when they are standing over us, which makes them feel tall and manly, I suppose. Even though she was not a brunette, Marilyn Monroe totally had this move down. That minx. [ Telegraph]

14. Unattractive Women
Source: the LifeStart Blog
Not the most attractive girl? Not necessarily a bad thing if you’re doing the online dating thing. A study done by OK Cupid used some crazy facial recognition algorithm and determined that men like to go after “unattractive women.” Like the send them more messages, perhaps because they assume they have a better chance. Gosh, this study is offensive any way you spin it. I’m gonna let it lay. And say this totally PC thing: attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder. That is all. [MY Daily]

Original by Ami Angelowicz